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π The loving rock
Published 15 days agoΒ β’Β 2 min read
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Hi Reader,
Welcome to this edition of the Maps of the Mind newsletter.
πThe Loving Rock
A few months before Mum died, a friend recommended the book Walking Each Other Home by Ram Dass. It's a dialogue between two friends on love, death, and the spiritual path, with guidance for the end-of-life journey.
I'm familiar with Ram Dass' work, but I hadn't read this one.
There's a section in it called Guidelines for Being a Loving Rock for the Dying. I bookmarked it and returned to read it whilst sitting with Mum.
The guidelines themselves are simple.
Be yourself.
Be compassionately present.
Be humble.
Be with each moment.
Have confidence in the dying process. Trust in the unfolding.
Don't lose your sense of humor.
Expect nothing and be ready for anything.
Let go of your own fears.
Follow the lead of the dying.
Practice sacred listening.
Don't talk about the afterlife unless you are asked.
Most of all: be love; send love.β β ββ Ram Dass & Mirabai Bush, Walking Each Other Home
Ram Dass tries to get across that dying people don't primarily need someone to solve death.
They need someone who can stay present without collapsing; without fear, without false positivity, without needing to manage the moment.
A loving rock.
Stable. Calm. Spacious.
Not emotionally frozen, just grounded enough that the dying person doesn't have to carry your panic too.
Reading them, I noticed these can be guidelines for sitting with anyone in a vulnerable or altered state.
For trip sitters and guides. For anyone holding space while someone goes through something difficult.
I've been practicing and teaching versions of these principles for years in the context of psychedelic work: presence over fixing, following the lead of the person, letting go of your own fear about what's unfolding.
I just didn't know I was also preparing for my mum.
There's something both humbling and comforting about that.
The skills we develop in one context can show up somewhere we never expected.
I didn't sit with Mum perfectly over those final months. I had moments where I totally lost my stability. Moments of wanting to fix things that couldn't be fixed.
But I kept coming back. β To presence. To trusting the unfolding. And most of all, to being love.
And in the end, the love we shared was true.
I hope you too are able to share and practice that with someone you love.
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A reflection for you today:
π Where in your life are you being asked to be a loving rock. For someone else, or even for yourself? What makes it hard? What helps?
I'd love to hear if anything came to mind. I hope you'll reply and tell me about it.
π Microdose of Wisdom
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π΅Psychedelic Supplements
A breathwork playlist from Green Magic Yoga. Active breathing (~60 min) - journey (3 hours)
John Robertsonβ βPsychedelic Facilitator & Educator Webdelics' Top 100 Psychedelic Thought Leaders and Content Creatorsβ 2025β βMaps of the Mindβ
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