🍄 The Person in the Room

Some of the nurses who come to see my mum feel different the moment they walk into the room.

They slow down.
They give their full attention when they ask a question.
They patiently listen to the answer.

Others… it’s more of a checklist.

Pain?
Bowels?
Medication?
Next.
It feels like they're just ticking boxes, getting the job done.

Same job. Same tasks.
Very different experience.

It’s not just what they do.
It’s how they are.

With some of them, the whole room softens.
They're unhurried. Gentle.
More calm. More human.

It honestly feels like it changes the quality of the air in the room.

A wonderful client of mine, an experienced doctor, once told me that he shared similar wisdom with his daughter, a doctor in training.
That beyond all the knowledge and training, the quality of presence you bring into the room with patients really matters.

I’m understanding what he meant more deeply now.

This isn’t just true in hospitals or palliative care.

It’s true in psychedelic work too.

We don’t need a know-it-all.
We don’t need someone performing expertise.

We need to feel like the person with us actually cares.

We talk a lot about set and setting: the room, the music, the preparation.

And we need to make sure we don't forget the importance of people in the room.

Because people are a huge part of the setting.

The quality they bring, it can change everything.

If you’re sitting with someone:
Are you listening, or just waiting to speak?
Are you calm in your body, or subtly rushing the moment?
Are you trying to fix, guide, or manage?

Or are you actually with them?

Can you regulate yourself enough… to help regulate the room?

If you’re choosing someone to sit with you:
How do they make you feel?

Not how qualified they are.
Not how impressive their background sounds.

How do you feel in their presence?
Safe?
Seen?
At ease?
Unrushed?

Or managed?

Knowledge matters, of course.

But presence is what you feel.

You can have the perfect room.
The perfect setup.
The perfect plan.

But the wrong presence changes everything.

And the right presence?

It can carry the whole experience.

-

A question for you:

Where in your life have you felt that difference?

When someone wasn’t just doing the role…
but actually there with you.

What did this bring up for you? I hope you'll reply and tell me about it. I appreciate every response.

📚 Microdose of Wisdom

“People will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

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